Leaning into the tricky
By Naomi Lawson
February 2026
I wonder how you feel when someone brings a complaint about your ministry? Is this something that cuts to the heart, or does it brush off you with little effect? Or maybe somewhere in the middle? How do we think well about our brothers and sisters who critique us?
I want to propose that there is value in considering leaning into these people. But discernment is required.
Those in our church who are wrestling with how we do things at church could be people who are deeply committed to the gospel. They possess a holy discontent – their heart is breaking for those in the fields who have not yet been brought life through Jesus Christ. Their restlessness about how things are done at church comes from their evangelistic energy, a burning desire to see God work. To see us best reaching the people God has put around us.
Isn’t this posture toward kingdom work appropriate?
But in our busy lives, ministry feels burdensome and change always involves more energy than just maintaining the status quo. The outworking of this is that when someone brings a critique of our ministry area, we can be quick to shut down, or avoid, because choosing to engage may lead to ambiguity, conflict, needing energy for a new thing, ruffling feathers for others.
How do we use discernment in these situations? After all, you can’t lean into everything! I wonder if these few ideas might help you to start to take a step toward these people:
- Listen first, then think: there is something about our humanity that recognises true connection – giving a brother or sister the space to express an idea, to be heard by you, is very powerful. Offering to hear someone’s thoughts is not agreeing to act on them.
- Thank them and pray: there is wisdom in not giving them an answer in the moment. Wise thinking takes space and time. Instead, actively thank them for wrestling with what church looks like and if we are achieving our purpose, pray with them for God’s big mission at our church and offer a time to follow up that will give you enough space to have conversations and bring a possible solution.
- Engage your Pastor/s: Think for yourself about the pros/cons/reality of the idea for our church, thinking of how the whole ecosystem works together. Then take the idea to your Pastor – they want to empower you, but they also see the bigger picture which may help with discerning the next steps. It is OK if ideas are not acted on, but the combination of ideas from these agitators may crystallise into a necessary change as we take them all onboard.
- Follow up: it is so important to honour people by following up with them after a decision has been reached. To not do this likely leads to disgruntled complaining to other congregants and will stifle their drive to see us work harder for the gospel. If the idea is to be taken on board, then you need to decide who is owning this new idea and think about the next steps (more of this in another article).
God gives us these people to sharpen us in our ministry, to help us think “could we do this differently?”, to take bigger risks for the gospel. They are a great thing! And they are most likely the people we want to encourage to think about full time ministry in the future.
But a small word to the wise: we are not talking about the people who say “I don’t like how you do things” – we want new ideas to come not from a point of arrogance, but from a trust and expectation that God can work. Those who are critical of leadership “just because” need to be discipled in a different way.
What work could God have in store for us this year?